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October 2, 2014 – Monologue Jokes
1. On Wednesday, Texas Governor Rick Perry said some school-age children may have come in contact with the first person diagnosed with Ebola in the U.S. So lets just hope, like Perry was in his school...
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June 4, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. Four people who cheered, allegedly excessively, for loved ones at a high school graduation ceremony in Senatobia, Mississippi were arrested and fined for disturbing the peace. But, in their defense,...
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September 9, 2015 – Monologue Jokes
1. According to a new study, 10% of men and women admit to having orgasms while exercising. So consider this your friendly reminder, that before working out, you should always wipe off the machine. 2....
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September 16, 2016 – Monologue Jokes
1. An outbreak of hand, foot and mouth disease has struck the student body at Florida State University. But, that type of thing will happen when the hand motions that go along with the “Head,...
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April 11, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. According to a recent poll, Bill Cosby’s “Little Bill” children’s book series is on the list of books Americans most often asked librarians to pull from shelves last year. Ironically, requesting...
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April 12, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. The customer in Florida who bought a salad at a local Walmart that contained a decomposed bat actually ate some of the salad before discovering the bat. So now he’s scared of bats and salads which...
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April 18, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. According to reports, President Trump called a “60 Minutes” executive producer after his post-election interview aired to find out “if he had broke any ratings records.” Said the producer,...
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April 26, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. Experts say that software vulnerabilities in an app that allowed Hyundai cars to be started remotely made the company’s vehicles susceptible to high-tech robbers. Luckily, the company’s back-up...
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April 27, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. Simon, a 3-foot long Welsh rabbit, was found dead in the cargo hold of a United plane after a flight from London landed in Chicago on Tuesday. United apologized for the death of Simon, or, as he was...
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April 28, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. In her new tell-all book, Caitlyn Jenner said she knew that O.J. Simpson was guilty. When told of the comment, O.J., who has been in jail for the past ten years, said, “Bruce did what!?!” 2....
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June 30, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. A man in India has broken the Guinness World Record for longest time spinning a basketball on a toothbrush. I don’t know whose record he broke, but I think it’s safe to assume it wasn’t Anthony...
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July 14, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. President Trump on Saturday promised $639 million in aid to feed people left starving because of conflict in Somalia, South Sudan, Nigeria and Yemen. Which, I assume he thinks are neighborhoods in...
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July 17, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. Last Friday, a truck hauling eels over-tuned on an Oregon highway. But that’s still not the slimiest thing that’s happened on a road recently: 2. Hillary Clinton’s unused election night confetti has...
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August 4, 2017 – Monologue Jokes
1. On Wednesday, White House aide Stephen Miller argued that the inscription on the Statue of Liberty does not matter because it was added at a later date. You know, like Tiffany. 2. According to a...
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May 4, 2018 – Monologue Jokes
1. President Trump signaled once again on Tuesday that he wants to create a new branch of the U.S. military called “the Space Force” dedicated to fighting in outer space. And I have a pretty good guess...
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